Monday, January 24, 2011


I often hear that a happy wife is a happy life, but I think that a happy wife + a happy husband = a MUCH happier life!

About two years ago, I learned some marital advice that changed my life (and marriage). It was my sister's bridal shower and her mother-in-law advised her that we should daily think “what can I do today to make my spouse happy?” She said that in a marriage we should seek the happiness of our spouse,and not constantly think about what I want or what I feel. Love is selfless not selfish.

Little did she know that I was going through some hard times in my marriage. Gerson and I had recently moved to San Antonio. After several months, neither of us could adapt to our new roles. Gerson had always worked hard for his money and had to accept that his wife would financially support him. And I had always been financially supported by my parents then husband, and had to start looking for a job that paid enough for our expenses.
Money wasn’t the biggest issue. I believe that the main issue was accepting our new roles. Although we sometimes argued about money (which I will one day blog about "no longer arguing about a piece of paper called MONEY"), without knowing, our arguments were because we couldn’t adapt or accept the roles we had taken upon.

Gerson and I never stopped loving each other through out that year, we had some good times, but when we would lose focus, we would get into some bad discussions.

One day Gerson, being the romantic man he is, told me that he lived to make me happy. Coincidentally, I remembered the advice given to my sister. So I told Gerson, "let's try and live to make each other happy!" He looked confused. But after I explained to him, he thought we could give it try.

It's been over a year, that we try daily to live and love each other selflessly. We think about how we can make each other happy day by day. It's daily, not one day or someday, but TODAY!

I'm often asked "You and Gerson act like bf & gf, what do you do to keep the sparks in your marriage?" Well, this is it! LOVING SELFLESSLY! It has helped our marriage very much. We overcame that tough year, and the reason is because we have decided to love without thinking about ME, ME, ME, but instead we think about one another. This is why Gerson often surprises me with gifts, cooks for us, helps me out w/ cleaning, etc Cause he's thinking about me. And I don't work 50 hrs a week feeling sorry for myself or feeling mad, but because I do it for Gerson and for our future. When you think about making someone else happy, you can't be disappointed, because you're not thinking about your happiness.

Why don't you ask yourself :
"What can I do TODAY to make ______________ happy?"