Thursday, July 9, 2015

From E-card to Greeting Card

I want to share a little story with you.

There's no moral to it.  Just something I thought about yesterday while I picked out a card for Gerson at the store. It took me back ... way back!

It was over 10 years ago, a friend of mine called to tell me it was Gerson's birthday. I did know Gerson. Not really on a personal level. Just as this guy who hung out with all of us from time to time.

My friend asked me to call him to wish him a happy birthday. I refused. I told her he really wasn't a friend and that it would be weird. She insisted  and said that everyone goes home for the summer and no one really celebrates his birthday. She rambled about how he's always there for our birthdays and bla bla bla. So I agreed to email him.

I have searched and searched for this email! Because never in my life did I ever imagine this guy would be my husband. I wish I knew the exact words I wrote him. Gerson and I agree that it might have been an ecard cause they were pretty popular back then. lol And the ecard probably said the norm "Happy Birthday! Best wishes!"

Well, I went to bed and had a dream that night that I was marrying Gerson. Super weird, I know! But the truth is till this day I dream the craziest dreams that I really thought nothing of it. I was so into this other guy at the time that I didn't even think about it. I remember the dream because I was wearing a red gown on the beach. Nothing like our real wedding! lol

Once I went back for fall semester, I started seeing him around campus more. We then became really good friends, thanks to our mutual friend.

That following year I went to the store and bought him a card. That's right. No more e-card. We still have it and I wrote "Happy Birthday! ... I really hope we stay friends for a long time." It's what I felt in my heart. I loved our friendship. Shortly after we grew in love and the rest is history.

I get him a greeting card for every birthday now. And continue to write my thoughts to him.

Life can be so strange. You may be looking at your future husband and not even know.

Happy Thursday everyone and  a Happy birthday to the one I love!


Tuesday, April 14, 2015

My Status on Social Media

I remember the day I took this pic. I looked at it and thought 'this is so fake' Gael was having a hard time adjusting to his new sister and somehow I got him to smile and lay with her. But in reality it took him months to like her. Every time I see this pic I think about how pictures can portray something that's not real. It was simply a good picture but not reality.

Social media has taken over the world.

It has expanded so much in the last years that it has also affected our relationships. I've read so many posts, blogs, and articles that say we have never been so connected yet disconnected with people. This life has become about our daily post on Facebook, our pic of the day on Instagram, our tweets, and snaps, and it just keeps going!

 I'm not here to bash social media. I love it! I have a B.A. in Communications and worked in public relations. I mean really, how could I ever not like it?

However, I do believe that there are certain no-no's that should be considered when dealing with your relationship and social media. Let's bullet-point.

*FACEBOOK STATUS - I have no idea why people make the biggest deal when changing their relationship status. I wonder if I would have been as excited to change my status to "in a relationship" back in the day... Probably! Ha! In a relationship is at least good news. But how about It's Complicated? Seriously? That's a huge no-no. Do not be an emotional slut spreading your relationship problems on social media! No one needs to know all your business, whether you're taking a break, or in a disagreement. Stick to single or in a relationship.

*DON'T INVITE OTHERS TO YOUR BEDROOM - Once I saw a friend post her lingerie for her anniversary night. I mean really! That is so unnecessary. No one needs to know if you're having sex. Keep those awesome deets between you and your spouse. Whatever happens in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom.

*JUST SAY NO - Social media has become an addiction. When I had my first baby. I was in a new city. No friends and my husband always working. All I would do is watch tv, roam the internet including social media, while feeding and sleeping my son. Eventually, I realized my actions were so unhealthy. Not just for me, but for my relationship with my newborn. I love talking to my husband so it's easy for me to put my phone down with him, but since my baby wouldn't do much I wasted so much time on social media. Now I am aware of that. I still post a lot of things, daily pictures of my kids. But I also know when I can use my phone. Not during reading time. Not when we're spending one on one. I actually don't grab my phone the first couple of hours I wake up so I can spend time reading or praying. Take control over it. If you're with your spouse or partner, get off your phone. Talk. Make-out!

*DON'T FAKE IT -  This is very true. A lot of things we post on instagram are to portray our perfect world that doesn't exist. If you're on IG, you are most likely guilty of it. I know I am. I have posted a pic of my healthy salad yet forgotten to add the one of my chocolate chip cookie! haha

Remember that absolutely no marriage or relationship is perfect. Don't get sucked into this idea that your relationship is not good enough because of everything you see on social media. Half of it is probably fake. Focus on your relationship. Stop trying to compare and do everything to catch up to portray a lie. Keep some things sacred and private. By no means am I saying it's bad to show love on social media. I often will send Gerson a little digital love note. Or post the flowers he brought me. Do I post everything he buys me? No. Gerson's not really into social media and as much as I love it, I know to keep certain things private mainly to respect him. Keep a good balance and good intentions. Don't fake it.

*NO BASHING - This one really gets to me. As mentioned before, Facebook does not need to know all of your business. Facebook or Twitter is not the place for you to bash your partner. It doesn't matter how stupid or dumb or bad it is. My job as Gerson's wife is to speak well of him, not bad. If I did not like something he did, I go to him, not to social media.

Well, there you have it. Some points that could help your relationship in this social media world. Networking is fun. Just don't allow this thing to destroy your relationship. It's definitely not worth it. Happy Tuesday!