Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Following Gerson.

2012 On a plane heading to Shanghai

I cannot believe my time in Anchorage, Alaska has come to an end... At least for now.

I survived two months in this beautiful freezing state. My husband daily worked from 14 to 16 hour shifts. I didn't have a car. I couldn't go out for strolls with the baby due to snow that would break my stroller. And as much as I would have loved to go and ski or visit other places, it's kind of difficult with a baby, a busy husband, and no transportation.

As I packed and got things ready, I received a notification that the airline I'm traveling with upgraded my seat. I knew I could upgrade but decided not to because my husband for some reason isn't a member of their frequent flyer. We had selected our seats in the very last row to sit together.

I called the airline asking them if they could either put me back to my original seat or upgrade my husband. The customer service rep looks at my husband's account and says Sorry, it looks like he's just a regular guy. Obviously this guy lacks phone etiquette or simply professionalism. What he meant to say is your husband is not a star member or has a regular account. I kind of wanted to joke along and say "My husband's everything but regular! He's the most amazing, intelligent, handsome person you could ever meet in your life!" But I held my tongue. After a couple of minutes, he asks me Ok ma'am, are you sure you want to sit at the very back versus the front? 

You see, this guy doesn't know that it's in my nature to follow my husband. I do it willingly. I do it because I absolutely love him! I don't care if the other side is luxurious. I don't care if following my husband means going to the freezing cold state of Alaska or the hot desert in Arizona miles away from my family I love and miss daily. He's my home now. He's the person I've chosen to do life with. And I have no regrets.

And so many times it's hard for me to leave who or what I love just to follow him. So I wrote this blog to always remember that yes, I will sit all the way to the back of the plane just to sit next to him. It's who I am.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Change is good.

10 years ago
Change has been on my mind lately. In my heart as well. Hence, the previous blog post.

Relationships go through change. It's part of life.

When I think about Gerson and I 10 years ago, I don't think I would recognize us. We were so different. As a couple we were two corny and cheesy romantics that couldn't get enough of each other. The things we would say to each other we probably wouldn't say anymore.

I've learned to embrace where my relationship is in the present. Right now. Yes, we're still romantic. We still have very special moments and  love each other more than we did when we first met, but I don't wish to go back. I don't see this change as a bad thing. I love where Gerson and I are right now. We've learned to accept and simply be ourselves. When we started dating, we might have been two people oblivious about everything (and everyone) but each other, however, I wasn't as confident. I didn't know if we were going to last forever. I didn't know if we would build a life together. I just knew that I had a hot boyfriend who was crazy about me... and hoped it would last.

Ask me now if I think my marriage will last. Without a doubt I will answer YES. We've invested years of trust, loyalty, love, growth, and maturity.

I was only 20 years old when Gerson and I began to date. We dated 3 years. And celebrating 7 years of marriage in November. I hope I've grown in these 10 years! No one wants to stay the same for that long. As an individual we desire to grow, excel, achieve, and improve.

Well, as a couple you should as well. Remembering how lovely it felt when he first kissed you. Or the first date. All the firsts are special and should remain in our hearts forever. But don't look at those special times wanting to go back. Move forward in your relationship. Build other memories and most importantly always love each other. Just because it's been 10 years, doesn't mean your relationship has to be dull and boring. Yes, we get comfortable with each other but always while your relationship changes and grows, continue to know how to love your partner.

Indulge him/her. Love him/her. And change will feel good.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Make Your Grass Greener

Have you ever seen a couple and thought, I wish my husband was as romantic as her husband or I wish my wife wore dresses like his wife.

Or you see a couple and think if only we were as rich as them or as good looking as them. I'm sure it's happened. I'm in the happiest relationship and sure we've occasionally had an envious thought. But what I've concluded is that there's no reason to desire such things. If you don't like where your relationship is going then do something about it. You have the power to change things!

If you don't like the way you look, do something about it. If you don't like that although you have two incomes yet you're always broke, don't wish for more money, get some financial counseling to learn how to manage your finances.

Stop wishing that your marriage or relationship could be better if only... It will not. So many people think the grass is greener on the other side but it really isn't. You can make your grass greener. If someone has a greener grass, it's probably because they've invested in it. They fertilize and water it. They take care of it.

Talk and listen to each other. If you think your sex life sucks, read on the subject. Talk to your spouse about it. If your relationship is going downhill SEEK HELP. Everybody can use marriage counseling. So many spouses want to save their marriage or improve but they do nothing about it. I know several friends who had the strongest desire to save their marriage but the husbands did not want to change things. They didn't want to seek help. They didn't care about the other person. They only cared about themselves. That's not how a relationship works. You can not be in a healthy, happy relationship only thinking of yourself. You want change, make it happen.

 Communicate with your partner about the changes in the most postive way. I believe in change. In the 6 years I've been married, I appreciate when we sit and talk about our failures or downhills. We don't judge or criticize. The times we've attacked each other, in never ends well. So we instead listen and see how we can be of help to improve and change such areas. Sometimes it's changing as an individual and other as a couple. But it's so important to communicate and encourage one another.

My last tip is learn from healthy marriages. I don't wish to be like my parents, but they have a beautiful marriage that inspires me to learn from them. Meet with older and wiser couples and learn from them.

It's Monday... The perfect day to start becoming a better WE. ;)