Monday, April 15, 2013

Make Your Grass Greener

Have you ever seen a couple and thought, I wish my husband was as romantic as her husband or I wish my wife wore dresses like his wife.

Or you see a couple and think if only we were as rich as them or as good looking as them. I'm sure it's happened. I'm in the happiest relationship and sure we've occasionally had an envious thought. But what I've concluded is that there's no reason to desire such things. If you don't like where your relationship is going then do something about it. You have the power to change things!

If you don't like the way you look, do something about it. If you don't like that although you have two incomes yet you're always broke, don't wish for more money, get some financial counseling to learn how to manage your finances.

Stop wishing that your marriage or relationship could be better if only... It will not. So many people think the grass is greener on the other side but it really isn't. You can make your grass greener. If someone has a greener grass, it's probably because they've invested in it. They fertilize and water it. They take care of it.

Talk and listen to each other. If you think your sex life sucks, read on the subject. Talk to your spouse about it. If your relationship is going downhill SEEK HELP. Everybody can use marriage counseling. So many spouses want to save their marriage or improve but they do nothing about it. I know several friends who had the strongest desire to save their marriage but the husbands did not want to change things. They didn't want to seek help. They didn't care about the other person. They only cared about themselves. That's not how a relationship works. You can not be in a healthy, happy relationship only thinking of yourself. You want change, make it happen.

 Communicate with your partner about the changes in the most postive way. I believe in change. In the 6 years I've been married, I appreciate when we sit and talk about our failures or downhills. We don't judge or criticize. The times we've attacked each other, in never ends well. So we instead listen and see how we can be of help to improve and change such areas. Sometimes it's changing as an individual and other as a couple. But it's so important to communicate and encourage one another.

My last tip is learn from healthy marriages. I don't wish to be like my parents, but they have a beautiful marriage that inspires me to learn from them. Meet with older and wiser couples and learn from them.

It's Monday... The perfect day to start becoming a better WE. ;)


geo said...

Keep doing this, Adri (writing). This is your gift!