Monday, January 31, 2011

Know Your Qualities

A while back I was with some of my girlfriends who I basically consider sisters.

We are all beautiful,but one of my girlfriends is stunningly gorgeous. We told her that her husband must love to have her by his side and feel good that his wife is HOT!

Then a friend said, "My husband loves that I'm smart." And I have to agree with her husband, she is indeed very smart.

Another friend said, "My husband loves that I'm so into my career. He loves that I'm knowledgeable and is always proud to introduce me to people for that matter. He says I'm his celebrity! "

I never got to tell them what Gerson loves about me, but he loves that I'm a happy person. He often tells me that there's nothing like working a 14hr shift and coming home to a wife that's smiling and happy to see him. And I have to say that I'm always VERY happy to see him!

What I enjoyed from these women was that they knew exactly what they were good at and it was apparent that their husbands did too.

Men love a confident woman (and vice versa). Not conceited, but confident. A woman who knows her qualities. Many women (and men) struggle with acknowledging their talents and gifts. Many do not even know how to simply take a compliment. Whether you're in a relationship or single,that can be a huge turn off. There is something about confidence that shines in a person.

As a teenager I did not love myself. I didn't even know what I was good at. The day I made the choice to love myself and to discover the purpose God had for me on this planet, I realized that I had many qualities. I learned that when someone complimented me it was okay to accept and reply with a thank you.

Now that I'm married, I know and see that Gerson absolutely loves when I know exactly what I'm good at. He loves my confidence! I may not be the best cook, but I make amazing sandwiches. I work great with people,especially teenagers. I have a heart for families who are trying to excel and break the vicious cycle. I love to communicate in different forms, by my writing, speaking, PR etc and know that I do a great job at it! I love my eyes and Gerson loves them too. I may not be size 0 but I've learned to embrace my curves and work at being healthy not skinny.

What are your qualities? What do you love about yourself? What does your husband or wife love about you?

Know what you're good at and even what you're not good at. If you don't know, begin to discover them. Make it a goal to KNOW YOUR QUALITIES! And be proud of them! There's only one YOU on this planet and those qualities (and defects) make YOU unique. Love yourself and allow not only your partner to acknowledge your talents, but others too.


Friday, January 28, 2011

Friday's Random Thought!

Many people have a hard time defining LOVE. Some think it's an emotion. It's a person. It's a feeling. It's butterflies in your stomach. It's a song. It's romance. It's intimacy. And the list goes on.

I believe love is a choice. I've chosen to love. And this choice (love) then can produce sparks, butterflies, romance, feelings, emotions etc.

Love can be one of the most beautiful yet difficult choices you make.

Through thick and thin... for richer or poorer... til death do us part ♥

If you haven't already, check out this video.

Monday, January 24, 2011


I often hear that a happy wife is a happy life, but I think that a happy wife + a happy husband = a MUCH happier life!

About two years ago, I learned some marital advice that changed my life (and marriage). It was my sister's bridal shower and her mother-in-law advised her that we should daily think “what can I do today to make my spouse happy?” She said that in a marriage we should seek the happiness of our spouse,and not constantly think about what I want or what I feel. Love is selfless not selfish.

Little did she know that I was going through some hard times in my marriage. Gerson and I had recently moved to San Antonio. After several months, neither of us could adapt to our new roles. Gerson had always worked hard for his money and had to accept that his wife would financially support him. And I had always been financially supported by my parents then husband, and had to start looking for a job that paid enough for our expenses.
Money wasn’t the biggest issue. I believe that the main issue was accepting our new roles. Although we sometimes argued about money (which I will one day blog about "no longer arguing about a piece of paper called MONEY"), without knowing, our arguments were because we couldn’t adapt or accept the roles we had taken upon.

Gerson and I never stopped loving each other through out that year, we had some good times, but when we would lose focus, we would get into some bad discussions.

One day Gerson, being the romantic man he is, told me that he lived to make me happy. Coincidentally, I remembered the advice given to my sister. So I told Gerson, "let's try and live to make each other happy!" He looked confused. But after I explained to him, he thought we could give it try.

It's been over a year, that we try daily to live and love each other selflessly. We think about how we can make each other happy day by day. It's daily, not one day or someday, but TODAY!

I'm often asked "You and Gerson act like bf & gf, what do you do to keep the sparks in your marriage?" Well, this is it! LOVING SELFLESSLY! It has helped our marriage very much. We overcame that tough year, and the reason is because we have decided to love without thinking about ME, ME, ME, but instead we think about one another. This is why Gerson often surprises me with gifts, cooks for us, helps me out w/ cleaning, etc Cause he's thinking about me. And I don't work 50 hrs a week feeling sorry for myself or feeling mad, but because I do it for Gerson and for our future. When you think about making someone else happy, you can't be disappointed, because you're not thinking about your happiness.

Why don't you ask yourself :
"What can I do TODAY to make ______________ happy?"

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The Bikini vs The Granny Panty

I was at Target the other day.

I was browsing in the sleepwear/intimate section and saw a young couple near the panties section. From what I heard and saw, I made my assumptions. I believe they were married cause they both had rings and they seemed like a very ordinary, slender, couple in their late 20's or early 30's.

The woman was trying to decide on what underwear to buy. She was looking at the packaged ones, that usually come around 6 in one pack. She would pick a pack, look at it and put it back. The man was just leaning on the shopping cart, looking as well, but not touching any of the panty packages.

Finally, the guy picks a pack and tells his wife "I think these would be good for you." I quickly looked at the ones he had chosen, and it was the bikini type. He hands it to her. She grabs it. Looks at it, front and back. Thinks about it. And then says "No, I'll take these." And by these she meant the big granny panties. She put them in her cart and they strolled away.

I have no idea why, but this scenario got me thinking. Women obviously know what they like to wear and what's most comfortable for them. Everyone wears different intimates. I don't think there's a right or wrong underwear to wear in a relationship.

However, it did make me ask myself, "Do I consider what my husband likes me to wear?" The majority of the men know very little about fashion. But most of them are good at knowing what they like on a woman, especially on their woman.

From intimates, to heels, to earrings, to dresses, but you know what your husband likes, right? If you don't, ask, and consider it. (Have you noticed that I'm big on communication?)

Basically, my thought is, that I know Gerson will love me regardless of what I do and don't wear, but why not make him happy with the small things and wear something that he finds me sexy or beautiful in?

I realize everyone thinks different, and I would love to know your opinion on it. :)

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Living the Dream!

This weekend my college roomy called me.

We've stayed in touch ever since we graduated. Even when I lived in Brazil and she in Italy, we would make sure to call each other to catch up.

This phone call was the first one for the year. We usually call each other after the holidays to talk about everything we did.

She happened to go to Costa Rica with her family and her holidays sounded absolutely fun with all the zip-lining, water rafting, rainforest tours, and beach-ing they did. So when it was my turn to share, I told her about Christmas in Houston, and then about New Years in Chicago.

I sort of thought that my long-weekend in Chicago could not compare to her exotic 11 day Central American adventure, but even so, I began to tell her about it. I told her that for New Years Eve Gerson and I walked from our hotel to the Navy Pier to watch the 8pm fireworks. We then took a taxi to a restaurant where Gerson had made reservations. It included a buffet, live band, party favors, and champagne at midnight. After midnight, we took a taxi who left us at a 7-Eleven near our hotel (cause traffic was horrible). So we went in, bought some chocolate and a bottle of champagne and took it back to our hotel. I giggled when I told her "It was just me & Gerson, but we had fun." If you think about it, it does sound silly to go party on NYE and not know anyone (at the party). Sometimes it's more fun when you're with friends and family.

However, talking to Erika, my roomy,reminded me of the way I felt in Chicago. I was overjoyed and so grateful. My heart was full of gratitude (to God), that I really don't think any words could fully express it. When I'm doing things with Gerson,such as partying in Chicago or even just relaxing on a Friday night with pizza and movie, I can't help but remember when I was young and single.

When I was single, I would dream of the crazy, romantic, normal, and exciting stuff I would love to do with my husband someday... To go out, just him and I, travel the world, experience new things, and build memories together.

I was living a dream this past New Years Eve. It might not have been Costa Rica, but it was perfect.

Do you ever dream of doing certain things with your future spouse? Or if you are married, do you remember dreaming about married life when you were single?

Even in our relationships we dream. And everyone has completely different dreams. The important part is to begin fulfilling those dreams together.

We tend to forget those dreams and make our lives (marriage) part of a routine. And let me tell you something, eventually, routines get boring!

If you have any crazy,fun ideas, introduce them to your spouse. It doesn't have to be a trip, it can be anything. I use to dream of cooking with my husband, so occasionally we pick a complicated recipe and try and make it together.

Have you thought about where your relationship is going this year? Have you only planned big goals? How about also thinking of some small, creative ideas for this year? Get out of your routine and do something different. Dream and fulfill those dreams together!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

To Tell Or Not To Tell? ... That Is The Question.

When we first got married I clearly remember telling Gerson that communication was the key to a great marriage.

I think it was the communicator in me saying that. I majored in communication, believe that I was brought on this earth to communicate, and have no problem communicating the message I want to convey.

During the first months of our marriage, I would get upset when Gerson didn't tell me things. Actually, our first (and biggest) fight was due to lack of communication. So Gerson, being the good husband that he is, began to communicate.

Through out that year he COMMUNICATED that I had gained some weight, that he didn't like the long, blue dress on me, that he would like me to be more organized when it came to planning, that dinner was too salty, that he didn't want to talk about babies until several years, that I should cut back on the ice cream, that I should get my masters or work (but not stay home), that maybe I should try some whitening strips, that I could use a manicure (he likes me w/ pretty nails), that my pointy shoes were ugly (Please don't mess w/ my shoes!), that I should be more involved with our finances, and the list probably went on.

Does Gerson sound like a monster or what?! Well, maybe I embellished a bit, but Gerson communicated with me alright! He's always treated me with love and kindness. His intentions were never to hurt me. Honestly, Gerson would tell me these things in the kindest way he could. I wrote that he told me I had gained weight, but he actually suggested we work out together because he wanted me to be healthy. Maybe in his head he had thought I had gained a few pounds and wanted to be supportive, but I interpreted it as "Gerson's calling me a cow!"

After a year of this communication deal, Gerson told me one day, "I don't know what to do! You tell me to communicate but when I do, you get upset. And if I don't tell you stuff then you still get upset" He was absolutely right. It was a lose lose for him.

Can any of you relate to this? or to me?

Obviously, I recognized I was wrong, apologized, and began to be more understanding. I want Gerson to be honest and comfortable telling me how he feels.

No one is perfect. Being straight up rude is one thing. That's unacceptable. But the majority of the times, the person's intentions are harmless. They feel comfortable enough to be sincere. Besides, I realized that I was being too sensitive. Many times Gerson expressed something cause he wanted the best for me or for our marriage.

Sometimes the old cliché is right, the truth hurts, but would you rather be in a relationship that's trustworthy and real, or in one that's fake and dodgy?

Monday, January 10, 2011

The Understanding Wife.

Today Gerson's vacation is over and he goes back to full-time rotations.

This whole weekend I was so attached to him because I knew Monday would come. I often say that I hate being the understanding wife. Every wife has different cases, but being the understanding wife to me means that I have to understand that Gerson will rarely be home. I have to understand that when he is home he's catching up on sleep. I have to understand that dinner means one plate for me and another stored in the microwave, oven, or fridge. I have to understand that sleeping alone is part of this goal. I have to understand that IChats are part of our marriage. I have to understand that our quality time is worth more than gold.

He began his surgery rotation today and it will go on for 90 days. This is the one he's been waiting for because he's striving to be a surgeon and wants to give more of his time if he has to. Therefore, more than ever do I have to be the understanding wife.

I shared this topic with you for 2 reasons. First, so you could remember us in your prayers. Being an understanding wife is not always easy and although Gerson is not as needy (as me), he could also use your prayers. This rotation will be challenging, but he's determined to be the best.

Second reason for sharing, is to remind you that in life we come across difficult tasks,including in our relationships. I may hate being the understanding wife, but remembering my blessings in the midst of all of it is what keeps us going. There's a focal point and a finish line.

Remember to count your blessings and see the good in your complexity. As Gerson often tells me, there is a bright side to everything.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

New Year... New Blog!

@ The Cloud Gate in Chicago 2010

Happy New Year everyone!!!!!!!!!

I hope each one of you had a great time during the holidays. I spent Christmas with my family in Houston and New Years in Chicago with Gerson. Overall I had a relaxing and fun time, and personally the days went by too fast.

Can you believe a new year has begun? It's truly exciting because a new year brings new everythings... New ideas, new resolutions, new fashion, new challenges and even a NEW BLOG! :)

As mentioned last month, I have decided to change it up a bit, and dedicate at least this year to talkin' about love. I've always had a fascination with love. It's amazing how a huge percentage of this planet is looking for "the one" or to simply be loved in return.

I'm no expert or guru, but I enjoy writing and learning about dating & relationships. Thus, I'm excited to share my stories and experiences with you!

I hope you continue to read along and share your comments and thoughts on my new blog.


PS. Hope you don't mind, but I went ahead and left my previous posts on this blog. ;)