There's a Bible verse that I've always liked that says we should examine ourselves in our faith. There's another version that words it differently and says we should give ourselves regular check-ups.
One of my favorite roles in life is being a wife. I know it's not always easy... it requires a lot of hard work, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I sometimes forget what it felt like to be single, due to all the fun and blessings I've had in my marriage.
However, I think as a wife, I often have to give myself regular check-ups. Occasionally I will ask myself, Am I being a pleasant, loving, wife? or Am I being a nagging, annoying wife?
You see, after a couple of years of being with our partners, our very own defects increase. We become extremely comfortable with our spouses and although that's absolutely normal and fine, some things may not show the best of us. We sometimes think it's ok to do certain things or act a certain way because that's the way he or she met me. But it really shouldn't be ok. Just because our siblings had to put up with some of our attitudes and mess doesn't mean our spouses have to as well. As a wife (or husband), sometimes we need to put ourselves in our spouses shoes. Or see yourself w/ their eyes (metaphorically speaking) and ask yourself if you're being a loving spouse or a spouse that just complains, nags, annoys, and spends 90% of the time upset at everything.
When I got married to Gerson, I noticed that he would finish the milk, yet leave the carton in the fridge. He would finish the cereal and put the box back in the pantry. I didn't understand why. I would ask him all the time why he couldn't simply throw them in the trash. Then one day I thought that if it bothered me so much, then I just needed to throw it in the trash myself. I'm sure many wives will disagree with me, because we believe our job is to train our husbands to be cleaner and organized, just like us. But you know, I realized that it really was not that big of a deal. Gerson's a great man that simply could not remember to throw the stuff in the trash. He did so many other things great, so why did I need to dwell on that one bad thing? Do you get me? Eventually, I would just laugh and throw the empty containers in the trash. And after almost 5 yrs of being married he's actually getting better at remembering, so I really can't complain.
Giving yourself regular checkups as a husband and wife is an opportunity to improve in your marriage. It allows us to acknowledge certain deficiencies in our lives that may be making our relationships difficult, miserable, or simply boring. Ask yourself What changes can be made in my life to become a better husband or wife? Now, don't point the finger. Don't think about the changes your spouse needs to make. This is about you. We all could use some improvement.
As mentioned above, I love being a wife. I like knowing that Gerson enjoys coming home. I would hate knowing that he felt he was always walking on eggshells w/ me. Or preferred to stay at work cause he knew I would nag the minute he opened the door. I try and give my best at any role I take upon, and I often think that I never want to regret not giving my absolute best when it came to my husband & family. After all, I believe the work, effort, and love I put into my marriage is an investment that will grow full and rich for many years to come.