A Midnight Moment

I support PDA. 

Gerson had a busy week. We didn't see each other much. I would think to myself throughout last week, 'how is it possible to miss someone I live with?'

Then Sunday at 12:30ish am  I hear him open the door. I eventually feel him crawl into bed. I then hear him whisper "baby" I respond, 'mhm' and he says again "baby," I figured he wanted me to open my eyes. I look at him and he says "I love you." I smiled, leaned over, kissed him, and continued sleeping.

That morning I woke up thinking about our midnight moment. About how absolutely anybody loves to be told they're loved. Especially when it's mutual. Even at midnight. Being loved is what many want, desire, chase, and can't ever seem to "find". 'Why?' I wondered. And why is it that when we have found love we can't seem to make it work.

I don't have all the answers. But what I do know is that I never want to be too busy to love. I'm grateful that in the midst of this chaotic life with residency, busy schedules, diapers, crying babies, etc we can stop and say I love you. We can stop for a second and kiss. The truth is I wouldn't want to do this life without him so I have to make it work.

That is my tip on this Monday. Always love one another. Don't get too busy or lazy. The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return. 

Dream a little...

Last night Gerson and I sat to eat dinner. Gael was in bed. Noelle was just chillin' on her swing. And it was so pleasant just to sit and have dinner with my man.

We talked and talked about all the dreams we want to accomplish. Some are goals but many of them are dreams. Dreams that seem unreal at the moment. Who knows if they will ever become reality. But what I loved is that after 11 years of being with Gerson (including our dating years), we continue to dream. Some dreams seem so silly and others simply unattainable but I love that we still do it.

It takes me back to dreams we talked about years ago that have now occurred. Whether it was traveling the world together, or one day having kids, or working our dream job, which ever it was, we have had the privilege to see these dreams become reality.

Of course it takes a lot of work to not only dream but actually convert them into goals and eventually accomplish each one of them. But as for the dreaming part, I truly enjoy doing it with him. It allows me to see beyond these chaotic, restless moments I'm currently living with a newborn, toddler, and hard working husband. It gives me hope for our future.

Dream together. It'll keep you young.

Happy Wednesday!

The Itch

Honeymooning in Vail, Co. Best trip ever! 

Today we celebrate 7 years of marriage and I couldn't help but think of the 7 year itch. For those who are not familiar with the term, according to wikipedia, it's when happiness declines in your relationship after 7 years. There are many people who believe it happens. So I asked myself, 'Will this happen to my marriage?'

I came to the conclusion, and this is my personal opinion, that every marriage is so different that each will go through different phases. There will be times in your marriage that will seem harder than others. I don't believe that it's exactly after 7 years. It can be after 3 years, or 5, or 10. Each marriage will face it's times of challenge. And I do believe you will feel the happiness decline, but it will always be up to the both of you to boost it up. I can recall times with Gerson when I believed it could never go back to being good. I don't know why, I blame it on my hormones, but I didn't like him very much after Gael was born. He was always gone. I was always alone. And I blamed him for everything. But we chose to fix the problem and move forward loving each other more than we ever had. We chose love.

So if your relationship is going through an itch and you really want to overcome it, do the impossible together. Choose love.  Choose to fight for it. It will take a lot of work, but it will be worth it. Don't ever allow society to define your marriage's happiness.

Marriage is more than a big wedding or a piece of paper. It's a commitment that requires exactly that; staying committed mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We are committed wholly. Loving through it all, good and bad.

Lastly, on this day, I would like to leave a love note to my one only -

Gerson, Thank you for always choosing to love me. Even when I wanted to give up, you have never given up on us. I don't believe in always being happy, yet you have made sure to always bring happiness to my life. You're my biggest blessing! I can confidently say that after 7 years we are stronger than ever. Loving each other more than we ever have. Thank you for that... For showing me that our love has no price. 

Prioritizing Love

A fuzzy pic of us in bed wanting to nap and Gael crying away. :)

Growing up I often heard my dad talk about how he needed to love and care for my mom more because someday his children would leave.

Seriously, my sisters and I heard it so often that when we were getting married, it's definitely something each of us had planned to apply.

As the years go by, I love Gerson more and more. If you thought I was in love with him 10 years ago, I'm more crazy about him now. So when I got pregnant I never doubted it. I was so confident that my husband would always come before my children... And then Gael was born.

If you're a mother you will understand, but the minute Gael was born my heart immediately grew a love I never knew. A love so big I can't even put into words. The days went by and the love just grew even more. All of your mommy friends tell you about this love but until you have your child in your arms, you're like whoa! I didn't know this love! It's amazing.

As the weeks went by I found it difficult to balance. It's normal, I'm sure. But I just couldn't care about Gerson. I was like a kid with a new toy. I've heard many husband's get jealous and I'm glad Gerson was just a good sport about it.

Maybe it's cause we didn't just transition into the parenting journey, but we had also moved to a different state, and Gerson had begun his very busy job. However, I didn't think I could ever ever put him first ever again. Did anyone feel like this? I was pretty sure eventually Gerson would get tired and my marriage would go downhill, because in my mind and heart I couldn't see myself putting my husband before Gael as my parents taught us.

Now, I know it's a different kind of love. The love of a son and husband is totally different. And I'm aware that it's normal to give more attention to the child the first months because it's all new but I also believe that if you never choose to start balancing your time with each one it will take over and your marriage could go downhill. I've seen it happen.

Just like you choose to love your spouse even on days you'd rather not, you also have to choose to prioritize. You see, one day, as my dad would tell us, your children will leave you. It's biblical! They will leave and begin a life of their own. And you can end up being happy with your spouse or miserable. It's a choice that you make. Everything I give into my marriage is an investment. I've said this so many times in so many of the posts. I don't know how long Gerson and I will have together, but I'm praying for a lifetime of healthy and happy years. I choose to give into my marriage daily. All the years, good and bad times, prayers, time, love, attention, money, our children, sex, dates, romance, and much more. It's all an investment towards our marriage. I'm not obligated to give, it's a choice we make.

The thought of Gael leaving makes me sad cause he makes me so happy. But it's going to happen someday. Heck, I would never want my 30 year old son living with us! We want to raise, teach, and equip him to build a life of his own. And when that happens, I'm going to want my husband to be there. We can get so caught up in raising our children that when they do leave, we don't even know ourselves or our spouse anymore. I want Gerson and I to be in a healthy marriage when our children leave us.

It's been a little over a year and I'm learning more and more how to balance my loves. I want my marriage to be my greatest accomplishment. Therefore, I will always choose to care and love my husband.

Happy Wednesday!

PS My parents were so sad when their daughters left. It took them about a day to get over it and now they're living the life! They get super happy when we visit them but happier when we go back to our home. ;)

Marriage is not to be taken lightly...

Throughout the years, I occasionally get the news from a friend, that she is getting a divorce.

It's always devastating to hear. The question I ask myself is did they give it their all? Now that they're going through this divorce do they regret not being a better spouse? By listening or communicating better, or changing those bad habits that their spouse hated, or sought counseling? Or maybe loving her better by making her feel special the way she needed to be loved. Would they go back and change... now that their spouse wants nothing to do with them?

By no means am I in a perfect marriage. Gerson and I argue. We disagree. We have our days that are not so pretty. However, at the end of the day we care. We care a lot about our marriage, that we apologize and forgive. We communicate and listen. We become selfless and think about the other. We make it work and sometimes even make some changes. We sacrifice and compromise. We do it cause we love each other and we're committed.

Marriage is not to be taken lightly. Marriage requires a lot of hard work. And what happens is that after a couple of years we get very comfortable. Sometimes life with our partner just becomes a routine. It even becomes boring. Our defects increase and feel like we don't need to change.

Men sometimes have the attitude of  " I conquered her already so I don't have to do anything else." Or even women don't feel the need to look nice, be sexy, and love their husbands' the way they need like to be loved. Marriage is not to be taken lightly nowadays. Divorce rates are high.

If you truly care about your spouse. If you truly honestly want to last forever, stop being lazy. Work at turning on that spark once in a while. Dream together like when you were young. Kiss often. Talk to each other and LISTEN. Stop taking marriage lightly! Stop putting more importance to things that will not be with you forever.

Gerson and I remind ourselves that at the end of this life, I can bet you all those things that we thought mattered are not going to matter. We matter to each other. We will be next to each other or at least thinking of each other when our life on earth is ending.

I conclude with this. Marriage requires hard work. I like to think of it as my dream job.  At my dream job some days are amazing and some days require more work than others. But my dream job also has awesome benefits that make all the hard work worthwhile. Marriage is similar. It has it's days but all the benefits and investments are worth it. Stop taking it lightly and always work towards making it better.

Happy Tuesday!

Supportive Spouse

This month has been a tough one for us.

Gerson's been in a trauma night rotation. He sleeps about 4 to 5 hours a day. Tries to spend an hour with us and works the rest. I swear I feel like a single mom who sees her baby daddy occasionally.

My husband has always been a hard worker. So working long shifts is definitely nothing new for him. However, I think the hours and lack of sleep is making him miserable. Quite honestly, we're both miserable with this rotation. We hate it. Gerson is such an optimist and I have never heard him express so much how he hates going to work. His highlights are only when he assist in a cool surgery and that he has Saturdays off.

Thankfully, this is over on Friday and he gets the weekend off (YAY!) and starts a new rotation on Monday.  What's funny is that these past weeks I didn't have the courage to write. I didn't know if I was going to survive being the understanding wife. Nor did I want to write support your spouse when I couldn't support mine. But now that it's almost over I will say that I'm proud the way we handled it.

Every marriage or relationship has their moments. Part of me was optimistic because I knew it was temporary. I would encourage Gerson when he was down. But only cause I knew it was one month. I don't know how I would have handled it if this was for the rest of our lives. But what I do know is that everybody goes through challenging phases. Couples go through fires. What's important is how you handle and grow from it.

Working as a team, together is my advice. We would have gotten nowhere if either of us dwelled on our misery and didn't care about anything else. Personally one of the best parts about being in a relationship is that you have each other. And although it's great to have one another during fun and happy moments there's nothing like having that support and backbone during hard times.

Support each other. If you're going through a fire, or if your partner is going through something be there for them. Get through it together. Even when it's not your problem, be the light in their darkness. I'm often asked why do you do this for Gerson? How could you support him financially in med school? How could you support him and move? How do you sacrifice your dreams to support his? And my answer is always because if it was the other way around, if I was accomplishing a career that required many years of school and training and instability, I have no doubt in my mind that he would do it for me.

I'm glad this month is coming to an end. My mind was running during these difficult days. I observed certain things in my relationship, learned much, and took notes which I plan to share with you! Hope everyone is having a great week. xoxo

Following Gerson.

2012 On a plane heading to Shanghai

I cannot believe my time in Anchorage, Alaska has come to an end... At least for now.

I survived two months in this beautiful freezing state. My husband daily worked from 14 to 16 hour shifts. I didn't have a car. I couldn't go out for strolls with the baby due to snow that would break my stroller. And as much as I would have loved to go and ski or visit other places, it's kind of difficult with a baby, a busy husband, and no transportation.


As I packed and got things ready, I received a notification that the airline I'm traveling with upgraded my seat. I knew I could upgrade but decided not to because my husband for some reason isn't a member of their frequent flyer. We had selected our seats in the very last row to sit together.

I called the airline asking them if they could either put me back to my original seat or upgrade my husband. The customer service rep looks at my husband's account and says Sorry, it looks like he's just a regular guy. Obviously this guy lacks phone etiquette or simply professionalism. What he meant to say is your husband is not a star member or has a regular account. I kind of wanted to joke along and say "My husband's everything but regular! He's the most amazing, intelligent, handsome person you could ever meet in your life!" But I held my tongue. After a couple of minutes, he asks me Ok ma'am, are you sure you want to sit at the very back versus the front? 

You see, this guy doesn't know that it's in my nature to follow my husband. I do it willingly. I do it because I absolutely love him! I don't care if the other side is luxurious. I don't care if following my husband means going to the freezing cold state of Alaska or the hot desert in Arizona miles away from my family I love and miss daily. He's my home now. He's the person I've chosen to do life with. And I have no regrets.

And so many times it's hard for me to leave who or what I love just to follow him. So I wrote this blog to always remember that yes, I will sit all the way to the back of the plane just to sit next to him. It's who I am.